Not again…

‘Damn…how long will I live this way?

No…I have to wipe off every impression that she has casted on me…

Ok…

I’ll abandon all sorts of encounters with her…

I’ll all the more cease visiting her orkut profile…

And in a matter of days, she will be flushed off my life’

…This is me, intriguing with none other than me hardly any days back when I was at my karmabhumi.

Albeit I didn’t miss to get a spanking peek at her orkut profile every time I logged in, but snapped all strands that could ever link me up with her.

A few days back, I was catapulted back to my hometown…her hometown.

I was damn earnest for all the plots I did spend nights nurturing.

But oblivious of my vows to ‘I’, my family planned a fling to her karmabhumi…

At this very word, I was dreaded by the willies of reliving what I had somehow managed to wipe off in all these days…

Hit by these heebie-jeebies, I opted for the ‘not going’ option.

But through all these days, somewhere in my heart an emotion wailed,” don’t strangulate me…I am love…I am immortal…I won’t perish but it will cause you pain. “

In this while, I too caught on the fact that even smudging her image in the head required uber-muscle.

Forgetting her was neither my cup of tea nor I could ever accomplish…so I finally, gleefully succumbed.

To follow was the fling to the clime where my heart is hooked…the place I had decided not to get back.

To sheer despondency, in all these days, she had changed her abode and not to mention, the no. too.

Soooooooooooop…

I was in her city, but what a pity that I had no contact in my kitty.

Disheartened I was…lost…helpless…

But I followed the mantra…’chuckle profusely because most goons don’t know that it’s the macho way to cry’

Then I met a few of my pals of very juvenile times, the ones I studied around seven years back and hadn’t met in all this time.

The airs went gung-ho with all intended pun sort quipping, jesting… n everything!

We huddled at the highest terrace of the multi-storied building and looked down at the city…sneakily peeked into all the balconies within reach…

We danced… we sang…we rode through the streets…we thronged at every possible destination…including her college.

And the reason was…the boyish one, leering at maximum scores of pretty faces. ;-)

Was it all???

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No…the way I stared scores all through the city was a bit different from the way it is usually done. (As one of my friends remarked, was evident from my countenance)

It was not ogling but a wild search for her…

A search for my heart which I lost to her…

A search which seems inevitable…and,

A search which is unquenched…