…odd.
After everybody in the wing identified that we don’t have toothpaste, we finally purchased it yesterday. Though it’s not the close up red that I prefer, but it was all I could manage to find in my hostel canteen.
I woke up at 6 today, barely 2 hours after I had gone to sleep…though not by choice, but blame the power cut.
And from then on, I am trying to map my brain…they say it helps when trying to know yourself…
Yeah…and here it goes…
Random thoughts: top 5
1) What marketing strategy would have been behind the below mentioned tagline of a milk product brand,
“pyaar badhega, doodh bahega…”
2) The latest comment on my blog reads ‘hi’…that too from some one anonymous…what is he/she (I wish it is ‘she’) trying to say??? Will he unveil his reaction in installments???
3) I don’t believe that the occasionally non vegetarian ‘me’ has finally decided to go veg…the new homepage at least is a sign… (C’mon this ain’t by choice…the recent splurges on wasteful hang outs have left me with not enough wherewithals to have a choice…)
4) Does she look better in salwar-kameez than casuals??? (ohh yes!!) Does green suit her better then black??? (naah…)
5) When I don’t like ‘canteen ki kachori’, why is it the motivation behind waking up early and going to classes every day??
I tried to analyze my brain and someone else also did it for me (thanx der!!) and they rated as ‘odd’…as my random thoughts are all out of the book and there seems to be no sense behind such questions and thoughts popping up and also, my answers are whimsical…
They may be correct, but my verdict is different…
I have a conclusion…
Do not run behind ‘typical’…if logic should exist behind every thought, nobody would have ever fallen in love…
We try to complicate things…and forget to appreciate the beauty of whim…
Whatever does not satisfy our damn logic is called ‘odd’…and that’s where we fail to appreciate the originality of the ‘odd’…
P.S. – I had nothing to write but a desire to write persisted, so I came up with this shit…
P.S. - …
Friday, April 23, 2010
Thursday, April 15, 2010
Undercover inferno
Aaahh…even a cold water shower ain’t soothing...the body cherishes the respite though, but what to do with this head, that by no means seems to be relieved???
Neither the heat nor the humidity stands culpable…it’s just that masquerading as being happy has now got on my nerves and though only for this moment, I want to spill my overwhelming frustration…
Today I regret my first suicide attempt…not that I have found something meaningful in life, it’s just my survival that I lament…
I curse my lopsided effort…I should have given my 100%. At least, it would have ruled me out of the way of a few who are jealous of me and would have conferred eternal peace to my hankering soul as the situation today seems to be a nuance portrayal of what it was three years back.
Until last year, the anniversary of my suicide attempt was just that…this year, it happens to be the birthday of the girl I am in love with. Now tell me, should I celebrate the disgust???
My love story harks back to every letdown that I have confronted…yeah…she does not realize my love for her and if she does, she is rude…
The words of my best friend are enough of caress to subsist but do they solve any purpose??
Answer is a blatant ‘no’ and the only good thing about it is that she really cares even if no one else does…
My love life seems to be pathetic…even the character in a book that I tend to fall for, either commits suicide (sejal…I miss u) or turn me down the other way (dear holy…).
Even facebook has gone traitor…every application that I use seems to alleviate my mental disarray…
And to add to the tribulations, a raunchy prick pisses me at such a late hour with his CID PJs and adult messages…given a chance, I will plug the bastard. But I am all helpless…and this is what the problem with life is…
I am helpless and I have always been…
The ovation that at times I unpack due to the ruthless hard-work that I put in to set things right at work might ensure a grin all through the day but it ain’t satisfactory enough to get a catnap…
I am fed up of these sleepless nights…
I want to commit suicide but I have to live for the very few who want to see me alive against my wishes...
I wish...
P.S. – even the bracketed humor has died out…
P.S. – the horoscope no more gets me going…I have had much of it…it’s never correct…
Aaahh…even a cold water shower ain’t soothing...the body cherishes the respite though, but what to do with this head, that by no means seems to be relieved???
Neither the heat nor the humidity stands culpable…it’s just that masquerading as being happy has now got on my nerves and though only for this moment, I want to spill my overwhelming frustration…
Today I regret my first suicide attempt…not that I have found something meaningful in life, it’s just my survival that I lament…
I curse my lopsided effort…I should have given my 100%. At least, it would have ruled me out of the way of a few who are jealous of me and would have conferred eternal peace to my hankering soul as the situation today seems to be a nuance portrayal of what it was three years back.
Until last year, the anniversary of my suicide attempt was just that…this year, it happens to be the birthday of the girl I am in love with. Now tell me, should I celebrate the disgust???
My love story harks back to every letdown that I have confronted…yeah…she does not realize my love for her and if she does, she is rude…
The words of my best friend are enough of caress to subsist but do they solve any purpose??
Answer is a blatant ‘no’ and the only good thing about it is that she really cares even if no one else does…
My love life seems to be pathetic…even the character in a book that I tend to fall for, either commits suicide (sejal…I miss u) or turn me down the other way (dear holy…).
Even facebook has gone traitor…every application that I use seems to alleviate my mental disarray…
And to add to the tribulations, a raunchy prick pisses me at such a late hour with his CID PJs and adult messages…given a chance, I will plug the bastard. But I am all helpless…and this is what the problem with life is…
I am helpless and I have always been…
The ovation that at times I unpack due to the ruthless hard-work that I put in to set things right at work might ensure a grin all through the day but it ain’t satisfactory enough to get a catnap…
I am fed up of these sleepless nights…
I want to commit suicide but I have to live for the very few who want to see me alive against my wishes...
I wish...
P.S. – even the bracketed humor has died out…
P.S. – the horoscope no more gets me going…I have had much of it…it’s never correct…
Thursday, April 08, 2010
Rareview
With aching back, front, sides and everything, I had vowed to not agonize this masterpiece of artwork (my body…lol) anymore, when I had survived my first (and last) day at gym (I was in 10th grade)…and as is my wont, I kept my promise until this dupe…
But I don’t blame myself for breaching this promise (Guruji says, “don’t blame yourself…that’s the way to love yourself”)…
After all, how come I know that YES+ was akin to a gym?
Today’s awesome (sarcasm) experience there, outplayed the former agony…
(I wonder how come they cause greater defilement without having those demon treadmills and dumbbells.)
Anyways, it’s not only about the long surya namaskar and sudarshan kriya…neither it is about the excruciating vajrasan alone…
I had started considering the possibility of being a ‘the art of living’ tutor as a potential career option…I thought it was only about prolific public speaking clubbed with quick witted humor and good presence of mind, but I never had any idea of it requiring military training…
To mention, for the people like me, who practice head banging as the only form of exercise, the experience was plangent, nothing else…
And yes (+), it also rips away all such fantasies of being a ‘baba’…
Yes (+)…it also gives me a nebulous idea of the YES+ approach…
As per my comprehension, they make you ache enough to forget about other worries and miseries.
I might sound enough bugged by YES+ …But, I don’t seem to achieve escape velocity… (It ain’t coming)
I guess, Money implies at least a tenfold gravitational pull compared to earth’s and If I am not wrong, escape velocity and gravity are inversely related (pardon if I am wrong, I know I am awful at physics)…
Aahh…at least it lends the slightest motivation (no…guru ji says ‘inspiration’)…
Yeah…that’s all you need (inspiration) when even the girls haven’t turned up for the course in good numbers…
But I should accept that I am defective in myself (I am happy) and this is the sole reason behind the ineffectiveness of magical sudarshan kriya…
And may be… my problems are weird enough to find a solution (is it??)…
P.S. – I had an inane desire to listen to hard rock or death metal after the sudarshan kriya…is it normal??
P.S. – thrice in my life I have fallen in love…first with pretty zinta (ohh…I was a kid then)…second is the one with a ‘sold out’ tag from the time of my first approach (she was always committed…hard luck!!)…and third is a girl who, by no means, seems to budge (I am still hopeful)…
(Sorry my first girlfriend…you aren’t on the list because I don’t lie)
…all I thought about after shutting the future, cutting the past and during the super awesome (read ‘superawful’) kriyas was the third girl (I didn’t think about the second because I don’t regret (thanks guru ji!!))…
Aaahh…poor child I am (pity)…but I know, I am too boyish (sheepish) for any girl to find me potent (no pun intended) enough for a relationship…
(Or is it that, except for my sisters, other girls are vaccinated against falling in love??)
P.S. – this is for the friend of my good friend…btw I am not ‘devdas’ kinda guy (always) and when I am, I puke all the shit on paper…believe me, you won’t find anybody so jovial, hilarious, gregarious and quick witted like me (jyada ho gaya…but I love myself…thanks guruji!!)
P.S. – for the YES+ lovers, I am sorry…I accept that I am abnormal…you guys really rock!!
P.S. - I love you...
With aching back, front, sides and everything, I had vowed to not agonize this masterpiece of artwork (my body…lol) anymore, when I had survived my first (and last) day at gym (I was in 10th grade)…and as is my wont, I kept my promise until this dupe…
But I don’t blame myself for breaching this promise (Guruji says, “don’t blame yourself…that’s the way to love yourself”)…
After all, how come I know that YES+ was akin to a gym?
Today’s awesome (sarcasm) experience there, outplayed the former agony…
(I wonder how come they cause greater defilement without having those demon treadmills and dumbbells.)
Anyways, it’s not only about the long surya namaskar and sudarshan kriya…neither it is about the excruciating vajrasan alone…
I had started considering the possibility of being a ‘the art of living’ tutor as a potential career option…I thought it was only about prolific public speaking clubbed with quick witted humor and good presence of mind, but I never had any idea of it requiring military training…
To mention, for the people like me, who practice head banging as the only form of exercise, the experience was plangent, nothing else…
And yes (+), it also rips away all such fantasies of being a ‘baba’…
Yes (+)…it also gives me a nebulous idea of the YES+ approach…
As per my comprehension, they make you ache enough to forget about other worries and miseries.
I might sound enough bugged by YES+ …But, I don’t seem to achieve escape velocity… (It ain’t coming)
I guess, Money implies at least a tenfold gravitational pull compared to earth’s and If I am not wrong, escape velocity and gravity are inversely related (pardon if I am wrong, I know I am awful at physics)…
Aahh…at least it lends the slightest motivation (no…guru ji says ‘inspiration’)…
Yeah…that’s all you need (inspiration) when even the girls haven’t turned up for the course in good numbers…
But I should accept that I am defective in myself (I am happy) and this is the sole reason behind the ineffectiveness of magical sudarshan kriya…
And may be… my problems are weird enough to find a solution (is it??)…
P.S. – I had an inane desire to listen to hard rock or death metal after the sudarshan kriya…is it normal??
P.S. – thrice in my life I have fallen in love…first with pretty zinta (ohh…I was a kid then)…second is the one with a ‘sold out’ tag from the time of my first approach (she was always committed…hard luck!!)…and third is a girl who, by no means, seems to budge (I am still hopeful)…
(Sorry my first girlfriend…you aren’t on the list because I don’t lie)
…all I thought about after shutting the future, cutting the past and during the super awesome (read ‘superawful’) kriyas was the third girl (I didn’t think about the second because I don’t regret (thanks guru ji!!))…
Aaahh…poor child I am (pity)…but I know, I am too boyish (sheepish) for any girl to find me potent (no pun intended) enough for a relationship…
(Or is it that, except for my sisters, other girls are vaccinated against falling in love??)
P.S. – this is for the friend of my good friend…btw I am not ‘devdas’ kinda guy (always) and when I am, I puke all the shit on paper…believe me, you won’t find anybody so jovial, hilarious, gregarious and quick witted like me (jyada ho gaya…but I love myself…thanks guruji!!)
P.S. – for the YES+ lovers, I am sorry…I accept that I am abnormal…you guys really rock!!
P.S. - I love you...
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