love is in the air...emm...@ CCD :)

I firmly believe that I am good for nothing (though my last two successful stints at quizzing rebuke the same) and others accept it as a matter-of-fact.

Last night, I brooded over the topic, ‘what talents do I possibly have?’, along with one of my buddies (he too is sick of the same phobia) sitting in the canteen till the wee hours (we weren’t drunk, rather I am a teetotal, though he is a sot) just to come out with the resort (since we were feeling drowsy by then) that possibly we are good at establishing public relations, strictly not with girls (my track record shouts aloud) and making a dupe of them (if possibly they fail to dupe us).
(Though my pal tried to impose upon me that I am good at singing, but I stood my ground that I am not ;))

But I won’t devote this post speaking about ‘my scour for my hidden talents’ as I had planned to do.

Not because I realize that I am good for nothing, but because love has startled me once again like every second day.

So finally, I have decided to re-discuss L.O.V.E.

After successfully reading two books solely dedicated to the definitions of love and leafing through ‘n’ number of love stories (I have probably read all love stories, at least Indian) and watching kal ho na ho 21 times (I don’t usually watch movies, this is the only one that I reiterate every now and then), I was too sure of myself being able to answer any damn question regarding the subject, but what I realize today is that if research is required in any subject then it definitely is L.O.V.E.

Not because I have a nebulous idea, but because it has no bounds (considering dimensions, if it can be measured) and every time you find an answer, you discover another question.

I know love…the feeling…credibility of it happening at first sight…the anxiety that it brings (the anxiety not due to insecurity but distances)…and blah blah blah!!!

But, like every other day, a new question has popped up…
Suppose…you are tired like hell, what would you do???
Normal people would either rest or take a pill…

But ….eureka!!

I have invented a magic solution….

Just ask your beloved to cross by or stand somewhere you could see them or else give you a call…

Now, this is a tested solution (at least on me) and you won’t believe that the results are such that the person was found shaking a leg (not just leg…but everything) for a stupendous two hour DJ night.

Now the question arises,” what is that deserts all the weariness???”

Is love that powerful a medicine???

May be, I would spend the rest of the night pondering over this topic as I am not sleepy and the best part is, I am day-dreaming (emm…night-dreaming)…

If only you can tell me the answer to this question, I would love to transform my blog into a discussion forum (you know I won’t do it…better leave a comment stating the answer)

P.S. – believe me, love is the cure to every disease and also the biggest disease itself…

P.S. – I got to know that one of my pals of yore got a year back…love being the reason behind... (hmmm…another question…)

P.S. – if I ever end up with a year back (I won’t)…curse love, not me…

P.S. – don’t try relating things…it’s a web, even I am lost

P.S. - ...

Lost in the mist

I haven’t capitulated to the blatant truth that someday I will end up working in a lowbrow mining PSU (to be precise…CIL) and so I prepare for CAT even when I am melancholic.

The graffiti (not exactly) on the desk that I usually prefer to occupy testifies the same (Though sketching practice, rough drafts of letters, blogs etc are more profound...after all,‘all work, no play’ would make me dull ;)).

Last Friday, I was dismal (not because of the weary lecture).

When not in class, I listen to music (especially death metal) at the highest volume to get on to my nerves and cause me headache…at least this renders me with another issue to focus on…

All I could do was to engrave (I was exasperated) something on my best friend ‘desk’…

I wrote…

Dark, dilemma, delusion…
Dusk, dearth, depression…
(Now you know how I prepare for CAT)
……………………………………………………………………………………

It was Monday and life had been stagnant like a dirty pool of water…
I was dismal, again...

I sat at the same position (I always do)…
Out of frustration I resorted to jot down something…

As I looked down, I read something obfuscated…

Just below what I had scribbled on Friday, I read

Yet is a dawn, yet is a damn direction…
………………………………………………………………………………………

Desk…

It became my tutor for handwriting improvement when I was a kid…
It became my message board when the teacher was strict…
It became my expression when I was glad or frustrated…
It became my accomplice when I had to cheat…
It became my sketch book in Bahuguna’s class (and ever after)…
It became my letter when I was in love (now)…
It became a forum when I had a query…
And now, it helps me in finding solace when I am in pain…

I wish, if it could only have an outreach to someone!

P.S. - if only, I were in class now…at least some ‘graffiti’ might have perked me up.

P.S. - …

Happy valentine’s day

I wait for you...

I know that it will take only a moment for you to cross by, but for me, this slightest convention is divine...

Love isn’t a decision…

It needs no reason to exist…

It’s a feeling…

Pure, selfless and heavenly…

P.S. – if only…

P.S. – this time, i had nothing to say but only a picture to show.

Happy promise day (And teddy day too!)

I jostled with the title this time, as I had started scribbling this one on teddy day but just could not wade through successfully as I was…emm…excited (for the first time in eons).

So, I sat down this morning (I had to miss my classes though) to polish this one.

This sudden surge of excitement comes as a bolt from the blue, provoking a spree of PDAs for teddies (though I had always preferred roses to teddies) on my part.

The best thing with these teddies is that they do not have that easy an accessibility (I hope they do not ;)) like the roses cherish.

Or it might be possible that I am oblivion of their oomph (how can I know if I don’t get to see anything. After all, it wasn’t BASANT).

But at least this saves my heart from mayhem (or may be, from being burnt down to ashes).

Whatever it is, but it has led to a radical shift in my dreams.

Yesterday night, neither did I jump from the water tank nor did consume poison.

What comes as a shocker is that I was strutting in the clouds (I could not emphasize, but it was great).

Though this ‘gargantuan pleasure’ culminated in a sweet eleven hour slumber that prevented me from attending classes today (thanks to my pals who successfully made my proxies), but I can put everything at stake for such ‘happiness’. After all, it was awaited.

(I added one more ‘tad delight’ flash to my album yesterday…but this ‘gargantuan pleasure’ moment sweeps me off my feet).

I have a better definition for ‘happiness’ now (I don’t think I would be able to express, nor I would try…)

I do agree that ‘happiness’ is a ‘mental illusion’ of sorts, but this is true only if pondered over logically.

But, why let your logic spoil the moment?? (Strike your IITian ego dumb)

Sideline the logic and let your H.E.A.R.T do the needful (Just try capitulating to your heart…you will be on cloud 9)

Before signing out, I just want to say that I have started loving teddies (if not teddies, at least teddy day) and a short little note that reads,

                      “i never "hated" u or anythng of the sort as u hav wrttn”

P.S. - …

P.S. – I want to jump but I don’t live single (no pun intended).

P.S. – This moment tops the chart of the happiest moments of my life (of course, I have a few).

SPECIAL THANKS –To the supporting administration of my Alma meter that prevented me from posting this entry though I had finished working on it in the first half itself. I appreciate the ways they ensure the un- interrupted internet connectivity. Hope I don't need to come to CC the next time. 

Happy rose day...

I sit to pen down this one just because I am...eaah... happy (at least I am wearing a smile)

So, capitulating to my avocation ‘writing’ seems to be the last resort for my happiness to ooze out (I can’t jump from the water tank, after all)

 What is happiness??

It is nothing more than a mental illusion because if it is not, I am sure that instances like watching someone walking down the ground, looking at a special someone smiling etc can’t ever bring even a tad delight.

I do have a number of ‘tad delight’ flashes which I have collected over last few months i.e. from the day when I mastered the art of betraying my sweet little heart.

I show appreciation to the few people (better to write one) who actually constitute the star cast of my flashes. Not because they are special to me, but because they keep my spirits high throughout the day though I end up dismal (if not suicidal) every night.

I want to thank this ‘happiness thing’ else, incidences like being lonely in a crowd when you have to have a big smile on your face to greet the people you want to escape and that too on a rose day, when you see the people around giving roses as the token of their feelings (love...to be precise), will definitely strangle anyone (at least me) to quietus (better to say death).

Also, this ‘happiness thing’ keeps everyone informed of your ‘happiness’ (after all it’s you who is smiling).

But, I want to do a resurrection in this ‘happiness concept’. Although I believe that it drives out the clouds of murk (albeit it is not for real) but the fact that this energy goes out in chores that you detest, holds to be true. (I love being quiet and staying back in the room, reading novels)   

I don’t know what changes need to be made, but things need to be resurrected because I am fed up of attempting suicides in the nightmares that wake me up every day from my almost sleepless slumbers.

Before I go to bed after this long tiring day, I wish to say something,

“Happy rose day!...I wish ur lyf wud always remain colrful wth swet fregnence n just lyk d rose....HAPPY ROSE DAY”

P.S. - I wish I could sleep a little longer than three hours today. I don’t want to wake up at 9.

P.S. – I am a teetotal. I would have gone down crates of vodka if I were a boozard.

P.S. – now this is for the few people who say that I should stay ‘happy’...

            “Sory bt i cud nt kep of frm writin dis 1...bt em hapy while em writin dis.”

P.S. – lord, save my soul (and me too)!